All of my life, I have never met my older sibling.
What an odd sentence to write. Even stranger still to live with that truth. My mother suffered a stillbirth in 1959, and she was never told whether she lost a boy or a girl.
So strange to not know whether I am missing a sister or a brother.
For most of my life, I have wondered. When times were terrific or challenging, I have particularly missed my older sibling. As I get older, I have come to treasure the beauty of the ordinary, and so I wonder what it would have been like to share everyday life.
We don’t think as much as we could about siblings—especially children who lose a younger sibling to infant loss. I am particularly moved by families who celebrate infant loss in unique ways while including older siblings. They lost a young brother or sister, and that will never change for their lifetime.
I believe it is healing, comforting, and essential to keep their memory alive in the home and the family. It would have been such a help to me. I wish I knew whether my sibling was a brother or a sister. I wish I had a photo. I wish I had somewhere to visit and bring flowers. I wish I had a memory, a blanket, a hospital bracelet… anything. Even at 59, I still feel that loss.
On Saturday, April 10, it will be National Siblings Day. And while the founder, Claudia Evart, intended it to honor her two siblings who died too young, we thought it would be an excellent opportunity to celebrate all siblings.
Would you please take some time and celebrate the siblings in your life? We want to make this visible and celebrate with you on our Instagram page.
How can you do it?
- Share on your feed or stories anything you want about your siblings, either here or gone too soon.
- Share how you teach your younger children about a brother or sister they have lost.
Feel free to share ways you remind, celebrate, and remember. Please share joy, tears, ruminations, celebrations, pictures, stories, or quotes – whatever your heart might need or enjoy.
- Tag @caringcradle
- We will repost your post and let all our followers see your heart and story and celebrate with you!
With much love, Caring Cradle